Aapki Adalat …

Hi many of us must have gone through horrible experience of answering queer questions about which we had as much idea about as George Bush has about Bin Laden’s whereabouts . No iam not talking about exams guuys ..Its about those mundane dull questions that we have to face at social occasions where u have been dragged by ur mom on the pretext of “Tum nahi aaye to Achaa nahi dikhega “ …


I have always been in Aapki Adalat with my Aunts & uncles Grandfathers and all those distant relatives posing as Rajat Sharma ,

Just imagine a situation ….u are in a marriage party looking for a hot Dulhan ki saheli or choti behan type material and like a commercial break just before Suhagrat scene on Surya Or Sun TV movie an aunt comes from nowhere and starts to have a dialogue which more often than not turns out to be monologue with u becoming silent sufferer along the way .

It goes something like this

Aunt : Hello Beta ….pehchana kya ?

Shocked by this sudden intrusion of Tuntun in ur seach for Aishwarya ..but gaining composure by being used to such eternal “Why me only “ happenings in my life

Me : Hmmm…. Yes ofcourse Auntyji .. how can I forget you .

Aunt : So tell me whats my name ?

Shardul Scan .. memory scan ..wish I had google in my head .. indexing search…funerals ,marriages .birthdays ,threading ceremonies ,naming Ceremonies …No ..No. its same again Google is far better than me ..

Me : I am sorry but …

Aunt : Ok OK beta .. haan ab tum hum jaise budhe logon ko kyon yaad rakhoge ab to tumahre din kisi aur ki yaad me khone ke hain .

if u just get out of the way and let me least look at that hot chic..

Me : Aisa kuch nahi ..main bas thoda confuse hoon !! ( A emarassed smile attached with it )

Sudenly to join this lady Rajat Shrama .a Karan thapar looking uncle comes and joins the conversation ..he is Aunty’s husband ..As allien to me as was this earlier creature namely …yes namely Shila Aunty . My memory scan may not be as fast a google’s but it does work sometimes .

Uncle : to aajkal kya karte ho ?

Me : Software field main hoon .

Uncle apart looking alike karan Thapar also has karan’s “ I know it all Attitude “

Uncle : are bhai lekin what do u do ?

Me ( Bit Irritatedd ) : “ Stastical analysis & data Reconfiguration for Real time Embededd systesms for Telecom applications “

Uncle : Oh Oh..Ok Ok I see ..!!

Hi five !! gotch u !

Aunt : So when are u going to America . Manju didi ka Ramesh ab to wahi pe setlled hain ..

Uncle : It has become realy easy .. hamare jamane main bahut mushkil tha ..

Ofcourse it must be difficult in ur times even now they don’t send any octroi clerk to USA .

Me : Try chal raha hain . Ab dekhte hain ( That bloody Project lead of mine better send me this time .i just cant be more sycophant than last quarter ) .

Uncle : Are Shardul as u happen from the telecom field tell me something aajakal kounsa scheme achha hain ..Tumahre compony ke scheme main kitana talk time free hain ?

Me : Actually I don’t know exactly …

This is the ultimate question of all ..for him my entire knowledge ..the whole test of my career lies in me knowing latest rates of
Mobiles ,schemes . free talktime ….etc… and me being blissfully unaware of these things he gives me a look that Himesh Reshmiya gets ….when he claims he is a singer …

I start to think shardul …this is the evening for which you had put Gel on ur hairs , Powder on ur face, Imported deo on ur body (friend had bought from his last onsite trip) . wore shoes from Reebok ..Shirts from Peter England and Jeans form Killer..

This happens with me with consistency of Rahul Dravid’s batting and Frequency of Imran hashmi’s Smooching All hindi movies are big blantant lie !! How can Salman pataofi Madhuri in HAHK ? How can Sharukh Romance Kajol on the terrace in DDLJ ?


Any answers ????