The Life & Times of an Engineer
Well....the title is one of the great example of great contradictions expressed in single sentence .. it might be some kinda figure of speech Me being an engineer myself can't figure it out … the english and engineers part their ways after E N G now if you don’t get that sentence ..read it again….if u still cant get it heres the explanation …An engineer never has a “life” and his “ time “ never comes ..even though every dog on street has his day & prime time .
See so much little happens in existence of an engineer ( note the use of word of existence instead of life ..engineering preciseness ). His entire time span can be described by few words ..no neeed to construct sentences ..plain words and intelligent audience will do !!!! here is vocabulary build of an engineer’s life cycle …
1. born
2. speaks
3. walks
4. KG
5. Plays with mechanos . ( first fatal error )
6. Mom , Dad excited . ( hmmmm….Future Engg.in making )
7. School
8. Good in science ,maths ( disaster in making )
9. Girls , oh they r so dumb ( time will tell ..who is dumber )
10. SSC... learns new words IIT JEE , BE ,BTECh,MTECH .
11. The others are fools. Career is important . . u can get girls any time ( fool’s paradise ).
12. Adolescence screwed by PCM..physics chemisty , maths
13. Great in physics : nothing physical about it .
14. Excellent in chemistry : no chemistry in life
15. Too good in math : no equations in life .
16. HSC Results …
17. learns new words Naseeb ,fate ,kismat , luck ,regret , why me ? , only with our batch ,
18. Admissions .. some more words , forms ,Challans , domicile ,nationality, creamy layer ,non-creamy layer ,reservations , NT –1 ,2,3 , open , BC ,OBC …..
19. Finally …FE….first encounter with dream come true…turned nightmare in making …
20. Now that... I finally got my career on track I can propose that girl from 5th floor ..
21. Oh shit !!!! where is she ? with that Call centre guy on 1st floor ??????
22. No worries .. lets look in our college … heres the list
roll no 1 to 47 : all Homo – Sapiens classified as “ male” species ...
roll no 48 to 53 Homo-Sapiens staking their claim for “ feamle “ Species ..but great controversy in this regard …claim put on hold
23. Second year , third year …..The learning curve ..only this curve for taking …
24. Practical , submissions ,orals, semesters, one-down , two-down ,critical ,golden , higher-seond class , sirf 1 mark se , again..only with our batch , Naseeb ,fate ,kismat , luck ,
25. B E …
26. Project ,Campus interviews , cut-off , compulsory , through-out first class ( Now ..that’s s a real surprise ) .
27. Probation, bond, CTC, Package.
28. office : coffee , chai , snacks , tapri ,sutta, microsoft excel ,boss ( oh no ..where’s trechnology , where’s is all the things that we learned in college , where’s the hard work ….)
29. oh…… that’s what bench is…. all through 24 years ..i thought it is something you sit on. .i didn’t know that it is something you sit on get paid also..
30. Weekend: oh these r kids , probably they are siblings , u got a CD , why am I earning ? , I am changin my job ? hows global economy ? oh crap ..stags not allowed !!!
31. I will have life when I get that overseas opportunity… new vocabulary : ECNR , Work permit, H1-B …..
See by this time he has reached 28-29 … so his time is gone and life never comes alive…the beautiful romance about life has long been faded away…Car for him becomes …fuel efficiency.. engine specifications …mobile for him becomes … either CDMA or GSM .. new flat for him becomes ..NA certificte..number of visits to those HDFC & ICICI offices .….theatres for him become ..a place where he can escape from the world …running from one illusion to another . And above all he is told by others you should be happy ..u got a high-paying job , a flat before 30, a trip to foreign and what not …
Life is not objective its purely subjective . we have objects but the subject is long gone .. we upgrade servers while others play dandiya ..we raise antennas while others are blissfully sleeping …we splice optical fibers while our friends are dancing in Ganpati
I am sorry if it is sounding like tsunami of self-pity…what i have written may sound bit exaggerated but it is true and my mood today is like heart broken Devdas on dry day ...but that’s what it is today … Life is a sine wave and today I had hit trough ..the negative peak….. but I am good enough engineer to know that ..the phase changes ..so don’t worry about me...the phase will change ..the crest will come… I can extrapolate that.
See so much little happens in existence of an engineer ( note the use of word of existence instead of life ..engineering preciseness ). His entire time span can be described by few words ..no neeed to construct sentences ..plain words and intelligent audience will do !!!! here is vocabulary build of an engineer’s life cycle …
1. born
2. speaks
3. walks
4. KG
5. Plays with mechanos . ( first fatal error )
6. Mom , Dad excited . ( hmmmm….Future Engg.in making )
7. School
8. Good in science ,maths ( disaster in making )
9. Girls , oh they r so dumb ( time will tell ..who is dumber )
10. SSC... learns new words IIT JEE , BE ,BTECh,MTECH .
11. The others are fools. Career is important . . u can get girls any time ( fool’s paradise ).
12. Adolescence screwed by PCM..physics chemisty , maths
13. Great in physics : nothing physical about it .
14. Excellent in chemistry : no chemistry in life
15. Too good in math : no equations in life .
16. HSC Results …
17. learns new words Naseeb ,fate ,kismat , luck ,regret , why me ? , only with our batch ,
18. Admissions .. some more words , forms ,Challans , domicile ,nationality, creamy layer ,non-creamy layer ,reservations , NT –1 ,2,3 , open , BC ,OBC …..
19. Finally …FE….first encounter with dream come true…turned nightmare in making …
20. Now that... I finally got my career on track I can propose that girl from 5th floor ..
21. Oh shit !!!! where is she ? with that Call centre guy on 1st floor ??????
22. No worries .. lets look in our college … heres the list
roll no 1 to 47 : all Homo – Sapiens classified as “ male” species ...
roll no 48 to 53 Homo-Sapiens staking their claim for “ feamle “ Species ..but great controversy in this regard …claim put on hold
23. Second year , third year …..The learning curve ..only this curve for taking …
24. Practical , submissions ,orals, semesters, one-down , two-down ,critical ,golden , higher-seond class , sirf 1 mark se , again..only with our batch , Naseeb ,fate ,kismat , luck ,
25. B E …
26. Project ,Campus interviews , cut-off , compulsory , through-out first class ( Now ..that’s s a real surprise ) .
27. Probation, bond, CTC, Package.
28. office : coffee , chai , snacks , tapri ,sutta, microsoft excel ,boss ( oh no ..where’s trechnology , where’s is all the things that we learned in college , where’s the hard work ….)
29. oh…… that’s what bench is…. all through 24 years ..i thought it is something you sit on. .i didn’t know that it is something you sit on get paid also..
30. Weekend: oh these r kids , probably they are siblings , u got a CD , why am I earning ? , I am changin my job ? hows global economy ? oh crap ..stags not allowed !!!
31. I will have life when I get that overseas opportunity… new vocabulary : ECNR , Work permit, H1-B …..
See by this time he has reached 28-29 … so his time is gone and life never comes alive…the beautiful romance about life has long been faded away…Car for him becomes …fuel efficiency.. engine specifications …mobile for him becomes … either CDMA or GSM .. new flat for him becomes ..NA certificte..number of visits to those HDFC & ICICI offices .….theatres for him become ..a place where he can escape from the world …running from one illusion to another . And above all he is told by others you should be happy ..u got a high-paying job , a flat before 30, a trip to foreign and what not …
Life is not objective its purely subjective . we have objects but the subject is long gone .. we upgrade servers while others play dandiya ..we raise antennas while others are blissfully sleeping …we splice optical fibers while our friends are dancing in Ganpati
I am sorry if it is sounding like tsunami of self-pity…what i have written may sound bit exaggerated but it is true and my mood today is like heart broken Devdas on dry day ...but that’s what it is today … Life is a sine wave and today I had hit trough ..the negative peak….. but I am good enough engineer to know that ..the phase changes ..so don’t worry about me...the phase will change ..the crest will come… I can extrapolate that.
posted by Shardul at 2:23 AM
1 comments
